Three elderly grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old man walked by. One of the grandmas called out, Grandma:“Hey! We bet we can tell you exactly how old you are!” Old Man:“There’s no way…
An old man was sitting quietly in a small diner, enjoying his pancakes and coffee. Suddenly, three rough-looking bikers walked in. They noticed the old man sitting alone and decided to have some fun at his expense. The first biker…
A woman went shopping. At the checkout counter, she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote inside and couldn’t resist asking. Cashier:“Do you always carry a TV remote with you?” Woman:“Not usually. My husband refused to…
A husband and wife woke up early on a Sunday morning. After breakfast, the wife got ready for church, but her husband was still sitting at the kitchen table in his pajamas, drinking coffee. Wife:“Why aren’t you getting dressed for…
Two elderly Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of a church, listening to a passionate preacher. When the preacher spoke against the sin of stealing, the two women shouted, Women:“AMEN, BROTHER!” When he condemned the sin of…
A patient came running into the doctor’s office, shouting in pain. Patient:“Doctor, please help me! I’ve been stung by a bee!” Doctor:“Don’t worry. I’ll put some cream on it.” Patient:“You’ll never find that bee. It must be miles away by…
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Unfortunately, the parrot had a terrible attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Almost everything it said was rude and unpleasant. John tried everything he could think of to improve…
A big old lion woke up one morning feeling bold and powerful. He wanted all the animals to remember that he was the King of the Jungle. So he found a small monkey, cornered him, and gave a mighty roar.…
A bird once asked a bee, Bird:“You work so hard to make honey, but people take it from you. Don’t you ever feel sad?” The bee smiled and replied, Bee:“No! They may have a way to take my honey, but…
An old lady was waiting to pull into a parking space when a young man in a brand-new red Mercedes drove around her and took the spot. The woman was furious and walked over to him. Old Lady:“I was waiting…
A rancher was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing by the fence, watching the whole thing with wide eyes. The rancher thought to himself, “He’s only four. I guess I’m going to…
A big-city lawyer was representing a railroad in a lawsuit brought by an old rancher. The rancher’s prize bull had disappeared from the section of land where the railroad tracks passed through. The rancher wanted to be paid the bull’s…