The newlywed wife greeted her husband when he came home from work. Wife:“I have some wonderful news! Soon, there will be three people living in this house instead of two.” The husband’s face lit up with excitement. He rushed over,…
One morning, Grandma was surprised when her 8-year-old grandson, Johnny, brought her a cup of coffee. She took a sip and nearly made a face. It was the bitterest coffee she had ever tasted. Still, she drank the whole cup…
An adventurer was exploring the jungle when he came across Tarzan. Tarzan was busy painting white stripes on black zebras and black stripes on white zebras. The adventurer was curious but decided not to interrupt him, so he returned home.…
A city man went to the countryside to buy a pig. He approached a pig farmer and said, Man:“I’d like to buy a 25-pound pig.” The farmer picked up the pig’s tail, put it in his mouth, and bobbed his…
John had just returned from a safari in Africa. When he arrived home, he went to visit his friend Mark and told him about his adventure. John:“I was deep in the jungle when I suddenly heard a noise behind me.…
Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her 80s and had never married. She was well known for her kindness and gentle nature. One afternoon, the pastor came to visit. Miss Bea welcomed him into her cozy sitting room and…
An elderly patient at a mental hospital was being considered for release. The review board asked him what he would do if they let him go. Patient:“I’m going to make a slingshot, come back here, and break every window in…
One morning, the teacher decided to ask the class about their pets. Teacher:“Alright, children. Who has a pet at home?” Little Johnny immediately raised his hand. Teacher:“Yes, Johnny?” Johnny proudly stood up. Johnny:“I have a pet cat.” Teacher:“That’s nice. Cats…
An elderly man living alone in Bradford wanted to plant his yearly tomato garden, but the ground was too hard for him to dig. His only son, Paul, who had always helped him with the garden, was currently in prison.…
A shark was swimming lazily under a large bridge when he spotted a squid drifting slowly through the water. Shark:“Hey there, Squid! How are you doing?” The squid looked pale, tired, and completely worn out. Squid:“Not very well, Mr. Shark.…
An old owl was perched on a tree at the top of a hill on a freezing winter night. He looked down into the valley and noticed a warm light shining from a window. Hoping to find some warmth, he…
Miss Bea, the church organist, was in her 80s and had never married. She was well known for her kindness and sweet nature. One afternoon, the pastor stopped by to visit her. She welcomed him into her cozy sitting room…