An elderly retired farmer became bored after leaving farm life, so he decided to open a small medical clinic. Outside, he put up a sign that read: “Treatment: $500. If I can’t cure you, I’ll pay you $1,000.” A young…
Two 80-year-old friends, John and Sylvester, were driving down the road when they heard a commercial on the radio. As it ended, the announcer said, “It makes you feel young again.” John looked over at Sylvester and said, “We’ve got…
Little Johnny was always teased by the neighborhood boys, who thought he wasn’t very smart. Their favorite trick was to hold out a nickel and a dime and let Johnny choose one. Every single time, Johnny picked the nickel. One…
A young boy was walking down the street with a monkey sitting on his shoulder when a police officer stopped him. The officer smiled and said, “Young man, I think you should take that monkey to the zoo.” The boy…
Two farmers kept arguing because they couldn’t tell their donkeys apart. Finally, the first farmer said, “I’ll cut the tail off my donkey so we’ll know which one is mine.” A few days later, the two donkeys got into a…
Fifteen-year-old Johnny came home driving a brand-new Porsche. His parents rushed outside in shock. “Johnny!” his father shouted. “Where did you get that car?” “I bought it,” Johnny replied calmly. “With what money?” his mother asked. “Do you know how…
A balding, white-haired man walked into a jewelry store with a beautiful young woman by his side. He told the jeweler, “I’m looking for a very special engagement ring.” The jeweler showed him a ring that cost $5,000. The man…
A husband and wife walked into a dentist’s office. The wife spoke first. “I need a tooth pulled right away. No numbing medicine, no gas, nothing. We’re in a hurry, so just pull it out as quickly as you can.”…
A mother decided to give her 10-year-old daughter, Cathy, a practical birthday present. “How about we open a savings account for you?” she suggested. Cathy was thrilled with the idea. When they arrived at the bank, her mother handed her…
A farmer placed an advertisement in the newspaper to sell one of his cows. Before long, a man came to look at it. After checking the cow over, the buyer asked, “If the cow looks so healthy, why are you…
A family of mice was out for a walk when a large cat suddenly appeared in front of them. The little mice froze in fear. But Father Mouse stood tall, took a deep breath, and barked loudly, “BOW-WOW-WOW!” The surprised…
A man from Alaska always dressed his mule in a pair of trousers to help keep it warm during the freezing winters. One day, he was traveling with the mule through a town in the Midwest. As they walked down…