A woman found a magic bottle, rubbed it, and suddenly a genie appeared. Woman:“Do I get three wishes?” Genie:“Nope, sorry. Three-wish genies are just a storybook myth. I’m a one-wish genie. So, what will it be?” The woman didn’t hesitate.…
Three elderly grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old grandpa walked by. One of the grandmas called out: Grandma:“Hey! We bet we can tell you exactly how old you are!” Grandpa:“There’s no way you…
A man takes his seat on a plane and is surprised to find a parrot strapped into the seat beside him. Man:“Could I have a coffee, please?” The parrot suddenly squawks: Parrot:“And get me a whisky, too!” The flight attendant…
A strong young man at a construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a test of strength. He especially enjoyed teasing one of the older workers. After listening to him for several minutes, the older worker finally…
Martin and his wife, Debbie, walked into a dentist’s office. Martin:“Doc, I’m in a terrible hurry. I have three buddies waiting in the car to play golf. Forget the anesthetic—I don’t have time to wait for my gums to go…
Little Johnny was standing in the barn with his grandpa. There were rabbits hopping around, and their droppings were scattered all over the floor. Johnny:“Grandpa, what are all these little pellets on the ground?” Grandpa:“They’re smart pills, Johnny. Eat some,…
A man goes to see the Pope with an unusual business offer. Man:“Your Holiness, I work for KFC, and we’d like to offer you ten million dollars to change the Lord’s Prayer from ‘Give us this day our daily bread’…
Little Johnny’s teacher asked the class if anyone had seen anything interesting on the way to school. Susie:“I saw a fluffy dog.” Billy:“I saw a train.” Johnny:“I saw a flat dog.” Teacher:“Oh, that’s terrible! Was the dog run over?” Johnny:“No.”…
An old man was talking with his grandson about some vitamins he had recently started taking. Grandpa:“I’m telling you, boy, since I started taking these vitamins, I feel like a horse!” Grandson:“Oh yeah, Grandpa? Are you and Grandma getting busy?”…
Two young brothers were spending the night at their grandparents’ house. When it was time for bed, the boys knelt beside the bed and started saying their prayers. Suddenly, the younger brother began shouting at the top of his voice:…
A lion finally got the chance to take a lioness on a romantic picnic after chasing her for months. While they were enjoying their date, a monkey jumped out and started making fun of the lion. Lioness:“Aren’t you going to…
A man absolutely hated his wife’s cat and decided he had to get rid of it. One day, he drove the cat 20 blocks away from home and left it at a park. As he drove back toward his house,…