Little Johnny, instead of an apple, would daily bring his new teacher a pretzel from his uncle’s bakery. She always thanked Little Johnny but one day she said, “These pretzels are very good but do you think your uncle could…
An elderly snake went to the doctor and told him: “Doc, my eyesight is so bad, I can’t see to hunt any more. I think I need a pair of glasses.” So the doctor fixed the snake up with a…
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things, when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line,…
An old lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that…
A deer had a bar. One day, he found the toilet window broken, so he asked the patrons “Who broke the window!?” A hare responded, “I kinda did…” The deer asked “What do you mean by “kinda”?” The hare says:…
It’s a small town and not much happens most days, so the town newspaper prints pretty much every little story. But the editor just can’t believe it one day when the new farmer down the road says that his truck…
A maid asks the lady of the house for a raise. “Why on Earth do you think you deserve that?” the lady asks. Because your husband says I cook better than you ever did. “Oh does he now? Well, that’s…
A city boy driving through the country passes a chicken farm and he is doing 55 mph. A chicken runs by and passes him inside of his fenced in field. He thinks wow that is amazing. He stops and pulls…
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in…
At A Mental Hospital: Doctor: “What is this?” Mad old Man: “This is a book I wrote. Total of 500 pages.” Doctor: “You wrote 500 pages? Woooooow, What did you write?” Old man: “On the first page I wrote One…
Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and…
An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all…