An 80-year-old man sat down in an orthopedic surgeon’s office. “You know, Doc,” he said, “I’ve made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. It must be at least a thousand.” The doctor smiled and replied, “And now,…
A salesman was talking to an old farmer when he noticed a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. Curious, he asked, “What on earth is that all about?” The old farmer replied, “We had a fire in the chicken…
Edgar, a 72-year-old man, recently chose a new primary care physician. After two visits and several lab tests, the doctor told him that he was doing “fairly well” for his age. A little concerned by that comment, Edgar asked, “Doctor,…
Four retired old men were walking down a street in Cooktown. As they turned the corner, they saw a sign that read: “Old Timer’s Bar – All Drinks 10 Cents.” They looked at each other, thinking it had to be…
Dan married one of a pair of identical twins. Less than a year later, he was in court filing for a divorce. The judge asked, “Tell the court why you want a divorce.” Dan replied, “Well, Your Honor, every once…
One morning, a blind bunny was hopping down the trail when he tripped over a large snake and landed right on his little nose. “Oh, please excuse me,” said the bunny. “I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m…
Two kids were playing on the lawn when one asked the other, “Hey, do you know how to ride a bike without training wheels yet?” “Nope, I dunno,” the other kid replied. “How about you?” “No, I dunno either.” Their…
Two elderly bankers were inside a bank when a group of armed robbers suddenly burst in. While some of the robbers emptied the tellers’ cash drawers, the others lined up the customers, including the two bankers, against a wall. The…
An old man bought a well from a clever businessman. The next day, while walking to the market, he met the seller. The man said, “I sold you the well, but I didn’t sell you the water inside it. If…
The elderly inventor of the Harley-Davidson Motorcycle Corporation died and went to Heaven. At the gates, St. Peter greeted Arthur and said, “Since you’ve been such a good man, and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is that…
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me wearing diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby brooch, and a gold Rolex.” The artist looked at her and said, “But you’re not…
A dog walked into a post office and said to the postmaster, “I need to send a telegram.” “Alright,” said the postmaster. “What would you like it to say?” The dog replied, “Woof woof woof woof woof woof woof.” The…