Little Johnny came home from school and said, “Dad, I got four F’s today.” His father frowned. “Four F’s? In what subjects?” “English, Math, PE, and Religion.” His dad sighed. “Alright. How did you fail English?” “The teacher wrote: Mary…
A little old lady walked into the Bank of Canada carrying a large bag of cash. She insisted on speaking directly with the bank president because she wanted to open a savings account. “It’s a lot of money,” she explained.…
An elderly couple walked into a fast-food restaurant. They ordered one hamburger, one order of fries, and one drink. The old man carefully unwrapped the hamburger and cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife.…
After finishing a round of golf, four older ladies sat around the clubhouse chatting. A golf pro who knew them walked over and asked, “So, how did everyone play today?” The first lady smiled and said, “I had a great…
Little Johnny walked into a bar and noticed a sign that read: “$200 to anyone who can make our horse laugh!” Johnny walked over to the bartender and said, “I can do it.” The bartender shrugged. “Go ahead.” Johnny walked…
“Do you like my dress?” a little girl asked a woman who was passing by. “My mommy made it just for me,” she said, with tears in her eyes. “It’s a beautiful dress,” the woman replied gently. “But why are…
Little Johnny was in Grade 7 and was always asking his teacher difficult questions. One day, he asked his English teacher, “Why do we ignore some letters when we pronounce words, like the H in hour and honour?” The teacher…
A hunter went on a safari with his wife and his mother-in-law. One morning, the wife woke up and realized that her mother was missing. Worried, she quickly woke her husband, and the two of them went out to look…
A young couple invited their elderly pastor over for Sunday dinner. While the parents were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the pastor sat and talked with their young son. “So,” the pastor asked, “what are we having for dinner…
A sweet elderly woman made lunch for her husband every day. For the past 40 years, she had made him the same favorite sandwich Italian bread with turkey, American cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayonnaise. At lunchtime, her husband would…
A city man went to the countryside to buy a pig. When he met the pig farmer, he said, “I’m looking for a pig that weighs about 25 pounds.” The farmer picked up the pig, put its tail in his…
A pig walked into a pub. As he walked up to the bar, he noticed a strange bottle bubbling away, with mist rising from the top. Curious, he asked the bartender, “What’s that?” The bartender smiled and replied, “It’s a…