A snail went to the police station to report that he had been robbed. He walked up to the front desk and said, “Excuse me, Officer, but two tortoises mugged me.” The officer looked surprised and asked, “Can you describe…
Once upon a time, a confident and independent princess was walking beside a pond when she came across a talking frog. The frog looked up at her and said, “I used to be a handsome prince until an evil witch…
A four-year-old boy walked up to his father and said, “Dad, I’ve decided I’m going to get married.” His father smiled. “That’s wonderful! Do you already have someone in mind?” “Yes,” the little boy replied. “Grandma!” His father looked surprised.…
Late one night, a little boy came downstairs in tears. His mother looked at him with concern and asked, “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” The boy sniffled and said, “Is it true that people are made from dust, like they told us…
One day, a hungry fly was buzzing around a barn when she spotted a fresh pile of cow manure. Since she hadn’t eaten in hours, she landed and started feasting. She ate and ate until she was completely stuffed. When…
A husband and wife were relaxing on the couch, watching television together. After a few minutes, the wife noticed her husband staring at the ceiling just above her head. She looked up and asked, “What are you looking at?” “A…
A wealthy old man was lying on his deathbed when he realized he had never written a will. He called his lawyer and asked him to come over the next day. When the lawyer arrived, the old man said, “I…
A group of women, all around 30 years old, were trying to decide where to have dinner together. After plenty of discussion, they chose the Ocean View Restaurant because the young waiters were handsome and full of energy. Twenty years…
Billy arrived late to class one morning. His teacher looked at him and said, “Billy, don’t walk into class late again.” The next day, Billy was late once more. But instead of walking through the door, he crawled into the…
An elderly man lived alone in Ireland. It was time to plant his potato garden, but digging the soil was more work than he could manage on his own. His only son, who would normally have helped him, was in…
One Sunday, the preacher gave a sermon about forgiveness. His message was titled, “Forgive Your Enemies.” At the end of the sermon, he asked the congregation, “How many of you have forgiven your enemies?” About half the people raised their…
An Englishman met a Welsh farmer who was standing with his dog. “Is that your dog?” the Englishman asked. “Aye,” the Welshman replied. “Do you mind if I speak to him?” The Welshman laughed. “You can try, but dogs don’t…