A brand-new retirement home opened in the community with separate floors for men and women. A few weeks after it opened, all the residents were invited to the recreation room for an important meeting. One of the staff members explained…
Little Johnny arrived late for school one morning. His teacher looked at him and asked, “Johnny, why are you late today?” Johnny replied, “I met a man who had lost his wallet.” The teacher smiled. “Oh, I see. You were…
Johnny’s Honest Answer Six-year-old Johnny was waiting at the bus stop with his mother. Before the bus arrived, she quietly said, “I’m going to buy one adult ticket. If the driver asks how old you are, tell him you’re five.…
A jockey was getting ready to race a horse he had never ridden before. Just before the race, the horse’s trainer gave him some unusual advice. “There’s only one thing you need to remember,” the trainer said. “Every time you…
A husband and wife were staying at a hotel when they got into a heated argument. The husband called the front desk and said, “Please come quickly! My wife wants to jump out of the window.” The manager replied, “I’m…
A couple had two young sons, ages eight and ten, who were always getting into trouble. The boys were so mischievous that whenever something went wrong in town, people often suspected they had something to do with it. Their parents…
A pastor had a little kitten that climbed high into a tree in his backyard. The frightened kitten refused to come down, no matter how much the pastor called to it or tempted it with a bowl of warm milk.…
A local news station interviewed an 80-year-old woman who had just gotten married for the fourth time. The reporter asked about her life, what it was like to get married again at her age, and what her new husband did…
A man settled into his seat on a flight when the elderly woman beside him smiled and introduced herself. “Hello! My name is Gertrude,” she said. “I’m flying to New York for my grandson’s third birthday, and I’m so excited!”…
A husband and wife were shopping together at the grocery store. As they walked through the aisles, the husband picked up a case of beer and placed it in the shopping cart. His wife looked at him and asked, “What…
Two friends were walking through the woods when they came across a huge, deep hole. “Wow,” one of them said. “That looks really deep.” “It sure does,” the other replied. “Let’s throw a few small rocks in and see how…
An accountant was riding in a car with one of his farmer clients as they drove around the farm. As they passed a large field full of sheep, the farmer smiled and said, “You’re good with numbers, Keith. How many…