Morris, an elderly man, realized he needed a hearing aid. However, he didn’t want to spend much money on one. “How much do they cost?” he asked the salesperson. “That depends,” the salesperson replied. “They range from $2.00 to $2,000.”…
One Sunday morning, an old man entered a church just before the service began. The old man and his clothes were perfectly clean, but his shirt and pants were old and worn. In his hand, he carried a worn-out hat…
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar, so one night he took her along with him. “What will you have?” he asked. “Oh, I dont know. The same as you I…
The Old Chief noticed a new seaman one day and barked at him. “Get over here! “What is your name?” was the first thing the Chief asked the new guy. “Paul.” The new guy replied. The elderly Chief scowled. “Look,…
Johnny’s pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma. After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the Doctor…
Little Johnny brought home his history test result, it was 90. His father was so happy with it. However, his mother, Karen, just couldn’t believe her son got 90 in history. After taking a closer look at the marks, she…
Ted was going bald there was no two ways about it. Trying to cheer him up his wife Barbara bought him a toupee. Barbara was very excited to show off her “new husband”, so she was thrilled when one of…
Three dinosaurs come across a magical lamp. The first dinosaur rubs it and a genie appears. “I have three wishes. One for each of you,” the genie says. The first dinosaur doesn’t hesitate before his request “All right, I’ll have…
It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of an Irish pub. An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the…
Three old ladies were sitting at the dinner table discussing their problems with getting old. The first one said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I…
Little Johnny, instead of an apple, would daily bring his new teacher a pretzel from his uncle’s bakery. She always thanked Little Johnny but one day she said, “These pretzels are very good but do you think your uncle could…
An elderly snake went to the doctor and told him: “Doc, my eyesight is so bad, I can’t see to hunt any more. I think I need a pair of glasses.” So the doctor fixed the snake up with a…