A lion walked into a fancy restaurant one evening, his tail swishing proudly behind him. The hostess was surprised but decided not to question him. He looked perfectly well-behaved. The lion sat at a table near the window and carefully…
A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride immediately called her mother. Mother:“How was the honeymoon?” Daughter:“Oh, Mom, it was wonderful! So romantic…” Suddenly, she started crying. Daughter:“But as soon as we…
Two women were walking home after a girls’ night out when they passed a graveyard and stopped for a quick bathroom break. The first woman didn’t have anything to use, so she used her underwear and tossed it away. The…
Earl and Johnny went on a hunting trip together. The nights were already getting cold, so they decided to share a tent. Around 1 a.m., Earl suddenly woke up and noticed Johnny moving around. Earl:“Johnny! What do you think you’re…
A woman came home and happily told her husband, Wife:“Remember those headaches I’ve been having for years? They’re completely gone!” Husband:“No more headaches? What happened?” Wife:“Margie recommended a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, look…
Little Johnny was sitting at the kitchen table while his mother prepared dinner. His father was quietly reading the newspaper when Johnny suddenly looked up. Johnny:“Dad, why do grown-ups like to exercise in bed?” His mother stopped cooking and listened…
John brought his new work colleague, Robert, home for dinner. As they reached the front door, John’s wife rushed over, hugged him, and gave him a big kiss. Robert:“Wow! How long have you two been married?” John:“Twenty-four years.” Robert:“You must…
A man was driving through an intersection when the light turned yellow. He did the right thing and stopped at the crosswalk, even though he could have rushed through before the light turned red. The older woman driving behind him…
A wife asked her husband to drop her off at a friend’s house, where a wedding reception was being held. Wife:“Could you please drop me off at the wedding?” Husband:“I’m going to be busy at the office all day. Here’s…
A husband and wife got up early on Sunday morning. After breakfast, the wife noticed that her husband was still in his pajamas. Wife:“Why aren’t you dressed for church?” Husband:“Simple. I’m not going.” Wife:“Why not?” Husband:“I have three good reasons.…
A man walked into a bar with his dog on a leash. The bartender took one look at the dog and stared. Bartender:“That’s a strange-looking dog! It’s pink, has short legs, and no tail. But I bet my Rottweiler could…
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day when little Timmy suddenly started laughing. Teacher:“What’s so funny, Timmy?” Timmy:“I can see your bra strap.” The teacher frowned. Teacher:“Go home. You’re not coming back to class for a week.” Timmy got…