A wife casually called her husband at the office one afternoon. Wife:“Hi, how are you?” Husband:“I’m fine.” Wife:“What did you have for lunch today?” The husband sighed. Husband:“Don’t you have anything else to ask? It’s always the same silly questions:…
An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch, enjoying the sunrise, when he saw the neighbor’s boy walking by carrying something large under his arm. Old Man:“Hey, boy! What you got there?” Boy:“A roll of chicken wire.”…
At a gas station, Jason noticed an older woman filling up her car. As he watched, he wondered whether someone her age should still be driving. The woman finished filling her tank, pulled up beside him, rolled down her window,…
A husband and wife were having a serious argument when the husband finally said, Husband:“Pack your things!” Just then, the wife’s phone rang, so the argument had to pause. It was her father calling, and the phone was on speaker.…
A husband and wife were playing a game at home. Wife:“Honey, let’s play a game.” Husband:“Okay. What’s the game?” Wife:“If I name a country, you run to the left side of the room and touch the wall. If I name…
Three elderly grandmas were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home when an old man walked by. One of the grandmas called out, Grandma:“Hey! We bet we can tell you exactly how old you are!” Old Man:“There’s no way…
An old man was sitting quietly in a small diner, enjoying his pancakes and coffee. Suddenly, three rough-looking bikers walked in. They noticed the old man sitting alone and decided to have some fun at his expense. The first biker…
A woman went shopping. At the checkout counter, she opened her purse to pay. The cashier noticed a TV remote inside and couldn’t resist asking. Cashier:“Do you always carry a TV remote with you?” Woman:“Not usually. My husband refused to…
A husband and wife woke up early on a Sunday morning. After breakfast, the wife got ready for church, but her husband was still sitting at the kitchen table in his pajamas, drinking coffee. Wife:“Why aren’t you getting dressed for…
Two elderly Southern women were sitting together in the front pew of a church, listening to a passionate preacher. When the preacher spoke against the sin of stealing, the two women shouted, Women:“AMEN, BROTHER!” When he condemned the sin of…
A patient came running into the doctor’s office, shouting in pain. Patient:“Doctor, please help me! I’ve been stung by a bee!” Doctor:“Don’t worry. I’ll put some cream on it.” Patient:“You’ll never find that bee. It must be miles away by…
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. Unfortunately, the parrot had a terrible attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Almost everything it said was rude and unpleasant. John tried everything he could think of to improve…