Two old friends were about to tee off at the first hole of their local golf course when a man carrying a golf bag approached them.
Man:
“Do you mind if I join you? My partner didn’t show up.”
Friends:
“Sure. You’re welcome.”
They started playing and quickly enjoyed the new man’s company.
After a few holes, one of the friends asked:
Friend:
“What do you do for a living?”
Man:
“I’m a hitman.”
Friend:
“You’re joking!”
Man:
“No, I’m not.”
He opened his golf bag and pulled out a beautiful rifle with a large telescopic sight.
Man:
“These are my tools.”
Friend:
“That’s an incredible scope. Can I take a look? I might be able to see my house from here.”
He looked through the scope toward his home.
Friend:
“Wow, I can see my house perfectly! I can even see into the bedroom. Wait… I can see my wife. And there’s my neighbor with her! They’re both undressed. What a betrayal!”
He turned to the hitman.
Friend:
“How much do you charge for a hit?”
Hitman:
“I charge $1,000 each time I pull the trigger.”
Friend:
“Can you do two for me right now?”
Hitman:
“Sure. What do you want?”
Friend:
“First, shoot my wife. Then shoot my neighbor.”
The hitman calmly raised the rifle and took aim. He stood perfectly still for several minutes.
Friend:
“Are you going to do it or not?”
Hitman:
“Just wait. Be patient.”
After another moment, the hitman lowered the rifle.
Hitman:
“I think I can save you a thousand dollars here!”