The Oklahoma Three-Kick Rule

A lawyer went duck hunting in rural Oklahoma.

He shot a duck, but it landed in a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence.

As the lawyer climbed over the fence to retrieve it, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked what he was doing.

“I shot a duck, and it fell into this field,” the lawyer replied. “Now I’m going to get it.”

The farmer shook his head.

“This is my property, and you’re not coming over here.”

The lawyer became irritated and said,

“I’m one of the best trial attorneys in Oklahoma. If you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.”

The old farmer smiled and said,

“Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes around here. We use the Oklahoma Three-Kick Rule.”

“What’s that?” asked the lawyer.

The farmer explained,

“Since the disagreement is on my land, I kick you three times, then you kick me three times, and we keep taking turns until someone gives up.”

The lawyer thought it over and decided he could easily handle the old farmer, so he agreed.

The farmer slowly climbed down from his tractor and walked over.

His first kick landed squarely in the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees.

His second kick hit the lawyer in the stomach and made him lose his last meal.

The third kick sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer gathered all his strength and finally managed to stand up.

Wiping his face with his jacket sleeve, he said,

“Okay, you old coot. Now it’s my turn.”

The old farmer smiled and said,

“Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”