An 85-year-old couple, married for nearly 60 years, died in a car accident.
They had stayed in excellent health for years, mostly because the wife was very serious about healthy food and exercise.
When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter welcomed them and showed them their beautiful mansion. It had a gorgeous kitchen, a luxurious bathroom, and even a Jacuzzi.
Old Man:
“How much is all this going to cost?”
St. Peter:
“Nothing. This is Heaven.”
They went outside and discovered that their home backed onto a championship golf course.
St. Peter:
“You can play golf every day, and the course changes each week to one of the world’s greatest courses.”
Old Man:
“What are the green fees?”
St. Peter:
“Nothing. Golf is free in Heaven.”
Then St. Peter took them to the clubhouse, where a huge buffet featured food from all over the world.
Old Man:
“How much does it cost to eat?”
St. Peter:
“Don’t you understand? Everything is free!”
The old man looked around nervously.
Old Man:
“Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol tables?”
St. Peter:
“That’s the best part! Eat as much as you want. You won’t gain weight, and you’ll never get sick. This is Heaven!”
Suddenly, the old man threw down his hat and stomped on it in frustration.
His wife and St. Peter tried to calm him down.
The old man looked at his wife and shouted:
Old Man:
“This is all your fault! If it weren’t for you and those terrible bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!”